Next week is the 4 month mark for my silver hair journey. April has been quite a month of upheaval: we sold our house, moved in with family, and have looked at 3 different homes for possible rental. I don’t have a home of my own and there is an ungrounded feeling with it. All of our belongings are in storage, I don’t have an art or yoga studio or a kitchen of my own. Honestly, I would not recommend two major changes at the same time. While changing the color of one’s hair may not seem like a “major” change, it actually does present some deep rooted personal challenges: acceptance of self, confidence, peer pressure, etc… Combining that with selling and then moving in with parents can be a bit of a personal challenge! I remind myself that all is impermanent anyway, and we can choose to navigate the unknown with grace and acceptance. I am grateful to be spending this time with my family, for large family meals each night, and constant companionship with my parents.
At four months of no dye, my hair is at a stage where it is actually very silver. I have cut it a few more times to a very short pixie, and now it appears that yes indeed, I do have silver hair. It is actually a salt and pepper sort of silver. It feels thick and full of body. It is soft and easy to manage. I think the constant dyeing of my hair over the years made it limp and lifeless. The silver has a newness to it, and it sparkles in the sun.
This month is the month of my birth as well. I turned 41. For some that is old, for some it is young. It is a right in the middle sort of age. I don’t personally feel very old. My yoga, meditation practice, and my healthy plant based diet makes me feel sprightly. My body moves with ease, and I try to accept life’s challenges with grace. That is not to say I don’t struggle, I simply struggle less than I did in my younger years. One thing going gray has made me realize is that I should be proud of each year I gain, each struggle I approach. Every birthday marks another wonderful year of living, almost like a badge of honor. Many people die young so it feels like an honor and a gift to grow older. I don’t think the color of my hair marks my age- I was gray in my 20’s. Instead, letting the true color of my hair helps me to feel I am expressing myself with truth and authenticity, growing more silver with each year I age. I am no longer trying to hide the color of my hair. I am happy to let it sparkle.