How we gain from our losses…

We have a tendency to think of ourselves, to define and celebrate who we are in terms of our wins. We come from a culture of sports where everyone wants to celebrate the win, nobody wishes to be on, or to be rooting for, the loosing team. But our losses might define us more than our wins. A quick scroll of any social media platform will reveal the same tendency. Everyone posts their most happy moments, their celebrations, those wonderful vacations in warm luscious locations. I am not saying we shouldn’t celebrate our joy’s and our wins. I am saying we need to give an equal standing to our losses.

The posts and shares that are the most endearing, the most moving, are the ones where people share their losses. The loss of a family member; the sad discovery of an illness; a tragic occurrence, a personal struggle, these posts speak to that part of us that has suffered and has grown from that suffering. I believe we can more accurately define ourselves in terms of our losses than by our wins. How did we react to the loss? Did we succumb to the sadness of it? Did we give ourselves time to grieve? Were we able to transform the sadness, to take the lessons of the loss and mold it into a new version of ourselves? How can we share with others that we love them not just because they win from time to time, but because much of the time they lose, and they fail, and that is what makes us all so intricate, so mysterious, and so alive.

These thoughts have been on my mind, inspired by a recent post by The Minimalists.